Or worse, a slow murky no. No is a very good answer. Most people just seem to have a really hard time saying it in a clean cut way and that gets them in trouble.
So they say “yes” slowly. And then contract poorly over what that “yes” means. Or they don’t say much at all and use time to make you understand it is actually “no”. Or use other people to communicate something on their behalf. Whatever way, they duck.
If you’ve ducked, you’re fucked. It inflicts pain on the receivers of ducking behaviour in the short run. I am pretty sure the long term, sustained damage is on the part of the ducker. It’s paid out in shame. That’s the most unhelpful emotion for most of anything in life.
I know because I have ducked in life at a few crucial times.
All passive aggressive behaviour that isn’t necessary and fouls relationships. It has taken me a long time and cost me a lot of money to figure these dynamics out for myself.
How do you duck? Why?